Melinda French Gates’ three children grew up in one of the richest families in the world. Not wanting their children to grow up in an environment with too many privileges, billionaire Bill Gates and his ex-wife created living conditions similar to those of middle-class families.
“I think that my children should be raised the way I was raised: in a middle-class family where money dictated whether I got new shoes or ‘got to wear my siblings’ spare shoes? And I think that’s a good rule for children,” French Gates told The New York Times.
Billionaire Melinda grew up in Dallas, one of four children of an aerospace engineer and a housewife. She married Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates in 1994, and the couple raised three children together before divorcing in 2021.
During the interview, French Gates was asked how wealthy parents can “normalize” their kids — that is, raise them to be well-adjusted and without privilege. Her answer was simple and relevant to parents: control their allowances.
“First of all, they have an allowance, so we don’t buy them anything at all. And they have to buy what they want with their allowance or put it on their wish list, that maybe they’ll get it from their grandparents or their parents for their birthday or Christmas.”
French Gates has been upfront with her kids about how coming from a wealthy family can set them apart from their peers. She warned her children never to brag about their lavish trips, as if it were normal for everyone else, she said.
Melinda added that she never wanted to raise her children in a world of wealth that would make them think they were entitled to special treatment because their family name was on the roof of a building. “I went to Duke with some of those kids, and I promised myself that if I had kids and I had the financial means, that would not be the kind of kid I would have,” she said.
The Gates children, now in their 20s, are also encouraged to save at least a third of their allowances to donate to charity, with their parents matching their contributions, French Gates told Time magazine in 2014. Despite being the world’s richest family, Melinda and her ex-husband have said they will leave their children only a small inheritance: $10 million each. They also expect their children to have careers and lives of their own, to earn what they want in life.
Regardless of whether the family is wealthy or not, children who are given an allowance or a job that pays them learn to work for their goals and understand the importance of managing their own finances, according to financial advisor and author Coventry Edwards-Pitt. Mark Cuban, another billionaire parent, agrees. The businessman’s three children grew up with a mission to have jobs and earn money to buy the things they want, Cuban told Steve Harvey in a 2020 episode of STEVE on Watch.
“I tell my kids, ‘After your health, the most important thing for you is: I don’t want you to be stupid. I’m not going to give you money, credit cards, to buy whatever you want.'” If you avoid giving your kids everything they want, you can help shape their future work ethic more effectively, psychotherapist Amy Morin tells CNBC Make It. Children who grow up to be successful adults often learn early on that “success doesn’t come naturally or easily.”
